Return to Camelot
Ray awoke slowly. Confused and disoriented, he kept his eyes closed and tried to remember what was happening. Everything was fog. He was Raymond. He was lying on his back. Scared of something. Sad about something.
He pondered the feelings, and soon remembered why he was sad. Of course he was sad. He missed Nate. He was stuck in Camelot without Nate. But why the fear? Things with Constantine were better now.
The image of Constantine's face frowning sadly at him came to his mind. Then James, crying shaking his head. Begging for help. Help with what? Then, James reaching down to-
Ray screamed and sat up, groping frantically at his torso. He ripped his shirt up to expose his stomach, still screaming even when he saw there was no gaping wound, and the shirt was curiously clean and soft. "Hey, hey, it's okay. It's okay."
Ray tore his eyes away from where the wound should have been to look at the speaker. He sucked in a sharp breath. Messy chestnut hair, warm hazel eyes shining, perfect mouth trembling ever so slightly. Ray's body tensed. He was so afraid to hope. But this wasn't James' face. But how could it be... "Nate?" His voice was nervous and barely audible.
He nodded, brows furrowing in that way they did when he wasn't ready to show his feelings at the moment, but they were about to break out anyway. It was so different from the way James would purse his lips and slide his gaze away from Ray when he was in the same kind of turmoil. Ray shook his head, tears stinging his eyes. He wanted to believe so bad it literally hurt. But he was terrified he would wake up on the battlefield and Nate would disappear.
"It's okay, Ray," he said, his voice sending a shudder through Ray's body. "It's me. You're home."
Ray choked out a sob and threw his arms around Nate. When Nate's arms tightened around him, the feeling of rightness was staggering. He cried uncontrollably, shattered by the realization that the last time he'd hugged anyone had been a misunderstanding, and hadn't been reciprocated. He struggled to get to his feet without letting go of Nate.
He stumbled when his feet touched the floor, and Nate held him tight, practically supporting his full weight. "Careful, buddy, careful," Nate murmured.
Nate tried to guide him back to the chair, but Ray clutched him frantically. "Don't let go, please don't let me go!"
"I'm not, it's okay, Ray," Nate assured him. He managed to help Ray sit back down, then squeezed him even tighter.
"I h-haven't been... t-touched other than... a handshake for...so long!"
Nate squeezed him hard enough to hurt, but it felt better than anything. "I'm sorry, Ray. I'm so sorry."
Ray shook his head, tightening his grip on Nate. "You're here. You're here, you're here, it's really you!"
"I'm here, Ray," Nate whispered. "And I'm not going anywhere."
Ray relaxed, still holding Nate tight. Then, he thought about the battlefield and his open wound, and he looked up, terrified, into Nate's eyes. "What if I wake up?" Nate looked confused. "What if I wake up and I'm dying again and you're gone and I never see you again?!"
Ray's voice got more and more frantic as he spoke, but Nate shook his head. "No," he said, a finality in this tone that said he knew it was the absolute truth. "No, you're not dreaming. You're home on the Waverider." He held Ray's face in both his hands. "You're safe, Ray. And I'm never letting you out of my sight again."
Tears still streaming, Ray took a deep, shaky breath. "God I love you so much!" Nate's eyes widened, and Ray could feel his own eyes getting to saucer level.
Nate smiled, and it felt like a sunbeam on the coldest day. "I love you, too, Ray."
Ray smiled back, but he couldn't leave it that way. They'd said this (If not as vehemently) many times before. Ray had promised himself countless times that he would make his real feelings known if he ever had the chance again - no matter what the risk. Now that it was time to do so, he felt nervous, but he felt compelled to say something. "I don't mean... I mean like... like-"
"I know what you mean, Ray," Nate said softly. He ran a hand gently through Ray's hair, and the tears that had been shining in his eyes began to fall. "Te amo ut magnus, etiam."
Ray stared at him in complete shock - overwhelmed by the words, and all of what they meant. He'd found the book! He'd read everything. All Ray's fears, his frustrations, his moments of despair. The things he'd written when he'd convinced himself the book would never be found. All his confessions of love - and his fears that Nate wouldn't feel the same way. He knew everything. Ray felt strangely exposed and vulnerable.
And yet, with the same words that had revealed his knowledge and stripped Ray bare, Nate had simultaneously covered him and made him safe again. I love you so big, too.
Ray tried to speak, but he was too overwhelmed to say anything. He threw his arms around Nate and wrapped his legs around his waist. He held on, tight as he could, breathing him in, and trying to get as much of himself in contact with Nate as he could. Nate gripped him back and they held each other close, just breathing each other in.
After a long time, Ray heard familiar footsteps entering the med bay. He looked over without letting go of Nate and smiled at the newcomer. "Hey, Mick."
"Hey." Mick came closer and looked at the two of them. "Good," was all he said. He touched Ray's head with his gloved hand. "Brought your berry drink," he said, holding up a large smoothie cup filled with a deep purple liquid.
"Thank you, Mick. Thanks. I missed you."
Mick grunted non-commitally, and Ray braved a momentary loss of contact with Nate to pull Mick to him. Mick growled, but allowed himself to be moved anyway, reluctantly. "Come on, Mick," Nate said. "He'd be dead if it weren't for you. Get in here."
At that, Mick stopped resisting and joined the group hug. After a few moments, Mick started to squirm, and they let him go. "Drink," he said to Ray, handing him the smoothie. "Then you need to sleep. Gotta rest so you can help with the dinosaurs."
"What?"
While Nate made "nix" motions, Mick explained, "Some wacko's been dropping dinosaurs at important events through time."
"Mick!" Nate hissed.
"What? He was gonna find out."
"Dinosaurs?? It had to be dinosaurs?"
"Ray, it's fine, no need to worry," Nate said. "Sara and the others are fixing an anachronism as we speak. It'll all be done in no time."
Ray nodded slowly, still agitated by the realization that his many nightmares about Gertrude may have had some basis in cosmic events. Mick interrupted Ray's nervous thoughts by shoving the smoothie into his face. He took it with a smile, managing to keep his legs locked around Nate while he drank it down. He was almost getting emotional again - Mick had bought his favorite recovery drink, and it was the first time in God knew how long that he'd had anything so insanely delicious.
Mick took the empty cup away, looking pleased. Not long after that, Ray's head drooped, and he started feeling tired again. Nate encouraged him to lie down, keeping a hand on him the whole time. Ray's eyelids got heavy, and he struggled to forced his eyes open.
"It's okay, Ray, just relax. I'm not going anywhere."
Ray nodded, and slowly allowed his eyes to drift shut, knowing that Nate would be there to keep him safe while he was asleep, and welcome him when he woke.