"I do not see the logic in-"
"Oh stuff it, Mister Spock, you wouldn't see the logic in a motherboard."
Jim chuckled lightly at the usual bickering and pointed over the heads of a several running, gigling children. "The popcorn is right there, at the rotunda, and the churros are just past there - there, see? In front of the castle."
Bones huffed an impatient sigh. "You aren't supposed to celebrate lifted dietary restrictions with fried sugar sticks, Jim."
"I am if I'm celebrating them at the Happiest Place in the Federation!" Jim picked up the speed, trotting happily past the long popcorn line to wait in the even longer churro line. Spock and Bones followed more sedately, both raising eyebrows at the atrociousness of the wait.
"Jim, I do not understand why it is considered pleasurable to wait in line in a transport, then wait in line for public transport, and finally wait in line to surrender credits to gain entry to a place whose sole purpose is to wait in line for foodstuffs that can be easily recreated on any Starfleet vessel."
"That's not the only purpose of Disneyland, Spock! There are the rides, the shows, the shopping, the atmosphere!"
"The candy apples, the fried chicken, the frozen lemonade, the barbecued ribs -"
Jim elbowed Bones gently. "Whose side are you on?"
"Your gut's! My hard work!"
"Your hard work?? I'm the one that's been deprived of all things delicious, Bones!"
"This conversation is threatening to devolve into something in which I do not care to participate, sir."
"Go buy the damn popcorn, then!" Bones waved at the popcorn cart, whose line was threatening to snake around the whole rotunda. "And you!" He turned on Jim, sticking a finger in his face. "You ain't been deprived of all things delicious - not yet." He folded his arms and glared. If looks could kill, Jim would have been blasted into primordial goo right there on the spot.
He counteracted with his best innocent face. "My apologies, Bones. I was deprived of delicious foodstuffs." He brushed his fingers lightly against one of Bones' elbows. "Come on, stop disturbing my first officer with your sordid tales of our nocturnal activities."
"Don't give me that. And I'm serious, Jim, if you get a stomachache, I'm forbidding my entire staff from offering you anything for it."
Jim laughed Bones off and looked at the short menu on the hot metal cart. The only thing cooked at the cart was long tube-shaped, deep fried pastries that were rolled in cinnamon sugar, but for an additional fee, a happy diner could choose their pick of bottled beverages, or one of several warm, sweet dipping syrups to run the pastry through. Jim hadn't any intention of ordering a drink or a dipping sauce, but Bones' grumbling was irritating his definant streak something fierce.
The line moved slowly. Jim checked the popcorn line, and saw that for each person he and Bones was stuck behind, Spock seemed to have to wait for two and a half more. He grinned and waved a little, and laughed happily at the eyebrow he could just barely see disappear under Spock's bangs. Bones just huffed.
"Oh, you two. Why don't you and Spock just go back to the ship if you really aren't enjoying yourselves? I'm going to have a good time, Doctor, and I don't intend to let his logic fallacies or your Münchausen by proxyian ravings stop me." He was smiling when he said it, but he could see by the way Bones looked him up and down that his irritation was becoming obvious.
"Jim, he's gonna be like that whether he's down here in the middle of all this insanity-"
"You're welcome to leave at anytime, Bones. I'm not holding you hostage."
Bones snapped his mouth shut for a moment, before turning away and folding his hands behind his back. "Someone's gotta keep an eye on your diet."
"Well, in that case, I suppose I'd better make the show worth your while, then, hadn't I?" Bones looked at him with a questioning arched eyebrow, but he said nothing else. Jim hummed happily to himself until it was his turn.
"Good morning, gentlemen," the plump young girl at the register chirped. "Are enjoying your visit today?"
"Immensely," Jim purred. He could feel Bones' rage racheting up, and smiled predatorily at the girl. "I'm going to enjoy it even more when I get a churro."
Her round cheeks reddened deeply, but that was the only knick in her composure. She took a tissue from the dispenser in front of her and used a long pair of tongs in her other hand to pluck a warm sweet breadstick from its warming basket. "Just the one, sir?" She dropped the stick in a tray of sugar and rolled it back and forth without looking at it, smiling a flirty sweet smile of her own at Jim.
"Just the one. But if you could add the… chocolate sauce, that would be wonderful."
To her credit, she placed the sugared treat in the napkin and reached for a little disposable ramekin of hot chocolate sauce without so much as a sigh, though her blush spread to the tips of her ears and down her throat, disappearing into the crisp white collar of her powder blue nineteenth century styled workdress. "Can I get you anything else, sir? Nothing for you?"
"He's fine," Jim said quickly, passing her his credit chip. "Too much sugar makes him cranky."
"Oh, we don't want that!" She processed his payment, and finally cracked a little when his fingertips brushed hers as he retrieved his card. She giggled nervously and waved. "Thank you for visiting, and enjoy the rest of your stay, gentlemen."
"We will, thank you very much," Jim said with a wink. "C'mon, Bones." Jim lead him to a stone bench set in an alcove in the railings of the permanent moat for the Sleeping Beauty Castle. He raised his hand to signal their new position to Spock, and plopped down on the stone. "Open this." He thrust the little container at Bones, who remained standing in front of him.
Bones gave him a look, and Jim thought for a moment he was going to give him hell for the chocolate, but Bones just shook his head and lifted the top. "You're like a damn child, you know that?" He held the ramekin out for Jim to take.
"Not even remotely, Doctor." Looking Bones right in the eye, Jim placed the tip of his pastry in the cup and swirled it slowly, before pulling it out just as slowly. Chocolate dripped from the tip of the sparkling sweet, marking a trail along the ground, to Jim's closed lips. He placed the chocolate covered end to his lips and dragged it along his bottom lip, until he eased his jaw open, just enough to ease the pastry between his teeth. He let his eyelids flutter shut, and suckled on the crispy sweet, licking the chocolate clean before finally biting down.
"You… son… of a… bitch."
"Ngh." Jim opened his eyes to see Bones standing over him, eyes reduced to black pools ringed with the brightest line of blue. His nostrils flared slightly, and his lips were parted just so. His shoulders rose and fell with each breath, and the hand holding the chocolate shook ever so slightly.
The tenting in his pants wasn't exactly subtle either.
"The trick to keeping to a sensible diet, Doctor, is to go ahead and indulge, slowly, carefully, and thoroughly." Jim smiled and began to scoop more chocolate on the churro, this time turning it so the chocolate dripped down the sides of the pastry, on to his upturned hand. "That way, a little taste goes a long, long way." He waggled his eyebrows and pointed the bitten end at his open mouth. But instead of taking another bite, he dipped his head to one side and licked away a stripe of chocolate from the underside of the breadstick, starting where his pinky and thumb met, and ending at the bitten tip. He worried the soft center of the pastry with the tip of his chocolate covered tongue, scooping out some of the pale pudding-like dough before flicking his tongue back into his mouth.
"Goddammit, Jim -" The ramekin fell from Bones' fingers, and he grabbed Jim painfully by the hair, tearing at the catch of his slacks with the other hand. Jim swallowed down a yelp as he was shoved backwards, deeper into the alcove, and Bones unsheathed himself right in front of Main Street.
"Bones, have you lost your mind?" Jim hissed.
"Fine," Bones growled, stuffing himself back in his pants as best he could, before yanking Jim to his feet by the front of his shirt. He spun them around so Jim was protecting his less than kosher state from view, his breath hot and heavy on the nape of Jim's neck. "Left," he growled in Jim's ear.
Jim stumbled across the path of laughing vacationing families to the deserted path that wound through some bushes, with the ocassional stone bench for happy newlyweds to sneak a chaste moment alone. Bones shoved him forcefully towards a particularly overrun bench and resumed unsheathing his member. "Bones, we can't-"
"Like hell we can't, sir," Bones ground out. "You didn't have a problem fucking that fried mess." Bones narrowed his eyes. "Or did you find something that tastes better than me?"
Jim knew better. He fucking knew better. But the fearlessness that made him jump in and defeat Klingons and Romulans and fucking Apollo kicked in, and he yanked Bones closer, lips closing firmly around the throbbing head. He sucked gently and released him. Bones hissed in disappointment, grabbing painfully at Jim's shoulders, but Jim chuckled throatily before leaning forward to repeat his trick with the chocolate stripe on the thick vein under Bones' heavy cock. The shuddering moan he got in reward was better than any pastry anywhere. He followed through, worrying at the slit with the tip of his tongue, but when he flicked away that tongue away oh so prettily, fingers dug into his shoulders, and that was the only warning he had before he got a face full of hot spray. Caught off guard, he sputtered a bit before swiping at his face in annoyance. "In the face, Bones, really?"
Bones slowly released Jim, tucked himself away, and sat down on the other end of the bench. He had a disgustingly blissed out smile. "Sorry. Wasn't expecting it."
"Wasn't- dammit, that was my face!"
A feral growling startled them both. A few feet away, Spock stood, arms full of three buckets overflowing with fresh, hot buttered popcorn. "You are the most inconsiderate travel companions I have ever been saddled with. I am wholy unimpressed with the amusement provided by this establishment, and the only amusement that would hope to hold my attention has clearly taken place without me. You disgust me."
"He started it, you didn't see what he was doing with the damn churro!"
Jim chuckled lightly at the usual bickering before leaning forward to yank Spock to sit on his other side. "He's right Spock, you missed it. Don't worry. I'll give you a private encore on the ship." He waved off Bones' increasingly incensed protests by draping an arm across each. "It's good to be me."