Assumptions
Rosalinda StMatthew


Jim fell into bed, dragging Bones down with him. They tumbled and twisted together in the sheets, struggling to free themselves of their suddenly too confining clothes. Jim licked and scratched and bit at his newfound lover, as if to devour him whole. Lust and possesiveness twined in his gut, and he wrapped his long arms around Bones, even while Bones fought to position him just so. Finally, Jim whined and allowed himself to be flipped onto his belly.

"Gonna make you feel so fucking good, kid." Hot and whiskey-sweet breath ghosted over Jim, searing him with a plentitude of dirty sweet nothings, and he shuddered with anticipation. Large, smooth, supple hands bracketed his hips and began to shift him around, like he was little more than a giant posable fashion doll, to be placed and played with and cast aside when all the sweating was done. The jealous, insecure little brat in Jim bristled at the treatment, but the daring, horny-as-fuck starcrossed lover in him just dripped precome on the bed. He felt his face flush with embarrassment, an embarrassment which only deepened at the appreciative growl he heard behind him. "Hell, looks like you already feel pretty fucking good."

"Booones," Jim whined, and he hated it, but he couldn't stop it, and he was fucking throbing and - something warm and wet pressed between his asscheeks, and Jim kicked and flipped so fast he made himself dizzy. "The fuck was that?" he cried, scrambling to the head of the bed.

Bones looked puzzled. "Just relax, Jim, you'll like-"

"The fuck I'll like it! What was that? Was that your tongue? Holy fucking shit, did you just put your fucking tongue on my fucking ass?? Are you serious? Do you always do that??"

Bones' face went from confused to annoyed and finally settled on hurt. "Jim… I just wanted to make lo-"

"YOU DON'T LOVE PEOPLE BY STICKING YOUR TONGUE IN THEIR SHITHOLES, BONES. "

Bones drew in on himself, gathering the dissheveled sheets to cover his nakedness. "You don't have to be so nasty about it, Jim. It was supposed to be nice."

"Nice?" Jim scootched around on the bed, trying to get the feeling of weird-wet-wrong off his ass. "You're a fucking doctor - where in your training did you learn that shit eating is okay?"

"Jim, you're fucking overreacting! It's just anal play!"

"NO! No. Sticking your fingers in my ass is anal play. Sticking objects in my ass is anal play - don't fucking look at me like that, goddammit, I would MUCH rather have a - a -a communicator in my ass than a mouth I USED TO LIKE TO FUCKING KISS in my goddamn asshole!"

"Used to?!"

"YES, USED TO!" Jim grabbed a pillow and shoved it in his mouth, trying to wipe his tongue down. He knew it looked childish, but he just didn't give a shit. "That's fucking revolting!"

"Well you certainly expect me to put my fucking dick in there! Why not my tongue?"

Jim dropped the pillow, aghast. "That is so different! I mean, pee comes out of your dick!"

"Vomit comes out of your mouth!"

"Pee is supposed to come out of your dick, Bones! Vomit isn't supposed to fucking come out of anything! You know why? BECAUSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO TURN INTO SHIT AND COME OUT OF YOUR ASS!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT, JIM?" Bones shoved the blankets and clothes aside and bounced down to the foot of the bed, where he could turn himself full to Jim, and very theatrically flip him off with both hands. "FUCK YOU!"

Jim took the opportunity to gather all the covers to his lap, covering up his wilting erection. "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, YOU FUCKING GROSS ASS PERVERT! LITERALLY! YOU'RE AN ASS PERVERT!"

They sat facing off for several minutes, until it became clear to both of them that Jim was not flipping back over to have his ass assaulted again anytime soon. Bones wrapped his arms around himself protectively, but it was several minutes still before he broke the silence. "Jim… I don't feel so good right about now." His face looked so sad.

Jim wasn't inclined to give a shit just yet. "Probably because your ate something you shouldn't have: my ass."

Bones blinked dumbly mouth gaping, and then a sob escaped, and he buried his face in his hands. At first, Jim remained unmoved, but when the crying sprouted hiccups after several minutes, he started to wonder if maybe he'd been a little harsh. "Okay. Okay, Bones. Come on, stop. Don't cry. Bones. Don't do that." He reached out to pat Bones on the shoulder, and got his hand popped for his trouble.

"You said you loved me!"

"What the shit does that have to do with you sticking your goddamn tongue-" Jim clamped his mouth shut at the look of dismayed horror on Bones' face. "Okay. I'm sorry I was so mean about it," he said through clenched teeth. "I just… really. Please don't lick me there. Seriously. I'm down with a lot of crazy shit in bed, but that's my number one fuck-no-clearly-there's-a-rapist-in-Starfleet-Academy dealbreaker. And I honestly didn't know I felt that way about it, because no one's ever tried to lick my anus before - and I certainly didn't expect it from a medical practitioner of all people." He started to reach out to touch Bones again, but thought better of it. "I won't ask you not to be mad, because, okay, I was nasty about it, but can you please try to see it my way, too?"

Bones wiped at his face angrily, snuffling and scowling and failing miserably at trying not to blubber. "Try to see it your way? You just sat here and called me every name in the book! I have never been so humiliated in my fucking life!"

Jim's stomach lurched. "Humiliated? Bones… I feel assaulted. Look, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, I really am, but I. Feel. Attacked. You pushed me around to get me into position, you held me in place, you touched me in a way that my body rejected before my concsious mind could even catch up to the fact that something was happening that I apparently intensely dislike - fuck yes, I called you every name in the book! I trust you! You…" He trailed off, unable to continue his tirade in the face of such obvious hurt. "Fuck. Forget it. Sorry. This was a horrible idea and clearly we are utterly and completely sexually incompatible."

Bones sniffled and looked at Jim under tear-clumped lashes. "I wasn't trying to attack you."

"Argh, for fuck's sake-" Jim grabbed a pillow and smashed it to his face, for want of something more convieniently faceplanty. "I know that, Bones," he said, muffled by the pillow. "That isn't the point." Jim dropped the pillow and looked at the covers for a moment, before rearranging them so he could touch Bones with his toes. "Look. Maybe… maybe we just need to slow down, talk to each other. Listen to each other. I…" The gut twisting was back, along with the firey possesiveness and was now accompanied by the fear that everything was ruined forever and ever. "I… I do love you, man. I don't want to give up. Not unless you just have to lick my ass because nothing else will possibly-"

"Just shut the fuck up, Kirk. Fucking ass." Bones scootched around in the covers until he'd tackled Jim down to the pillows again, but instead of covering him with smoldering kisses, he wrapped himself around Jim like an anaconda. "You're lucky I like you. Despite your poor taste in sexual pleasures."

"Seriously, the tongue on the asshole is a deal-"

"YEAH I GOT IT."

Fin


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